B-b-b-log not perfect

by Nichole on April 6, 2011 · 6 comments

in ME,PERFECT

What a weird title…. I sound like Jar Jar Binks “me’s a not perfect”… which – random memory – in high school my friends ‘camped out’ for that movie and Morgan & I joined with (though we didn’t spend the night – we aren’t THAT cool). We got to see the 12:01 a.m. showing and the whole time Morgan and I couldn’t shake how scary  and annoying he was. Right??? Oh silly Jar Jar — you are annoying, but at 12:01 a.m. you are especially annoying.

Anyway back to my title. I’ve contemplated starting a blog for awhile now. Not because I’m an amazing writer. Not because I really have much to say. A little because I like talking to myself and figured why not talk to myself like this? And hugely — I’d like to be able to give my girls a glimpse of my life someday when they are in this stage as well…. now watch… this ends up being only one post.

•••Sorry girls, I swear there was a little more to my life than that….•••

Now one of my biggest fears with starting a blog (aside from the creepy strangers watching me…. oh & others judging me *judge judge*…) is that I would pressure myself to appear perfect. I’m not perfect, so why would I feel the need to look perfect? Not sure,  but just wanted to give myself a reminder that I don’t’ need to be. Dear Lord, help me remember that!

•I am thin, but I don’t have the best body. Can we say stretch marks & stretchy skin??… Amongst other things I don’t feel like listing that only my posse know about. (Posse, LOL).

•I am good at a lot of things, but I’m not the BEST at anything (seriously,… if you EVER think otherwise,  let me introduce you to my amazing family).

•I am a clean freak whose house is constantly messy…. and I am constantly cleaning so I don’t want your cleaning advice. :) I kid.

•I am generally a happy person, I grumble to myself preeettty much daily. (see clean freak line).

•Being a mom is my dream come true and I LOVE it. Sometimes I snap at my girls when I am stressed & have to apologize.

•I love cute clothes, but I can’t afford to fill my closet with them,…Can we say Christmas, Birthdays, & sales???

•My hair is often in a pony tail because I didn’t have a chance to do it, not because I think it’s the cutest do.

•I love people, I do I LOVE them and I work every day to do so. Sometimes I can be judgmental.

•I really care about other people’s feelings. Sometimes I care too much what others will think of me.

•I love God. I often suck at reading my Bible.

•I cook 99% of our meals at home. I sometimes make ‘unhealthy’ dinners (can we say alfredo??) and snack on chocolate chips daily.

•I’ve had a lot of dreams that I just wasn’t good enough to fulfill. I’ve achieved my biggest & most rewarding one: being a wife and a mom.

•I have an amazing husband. He’s not perfect either, but he’s perfect for me!! I am one lucky duck.

•I have amazing children.

Even if given the opportunity, I wouldn’t change who I am or where I am at.

Now… there might be some judgers out there (who am I kidding, I am talking to myself!!) who look down on my negativity. “Quit ripping yourself apart! You ARE awesome!”  (“Aw thanks!!!!” – from me). But really, that’s not the point. I’m happy with who I am. I would be lying if I said that life has always been easy and I’m 100% awesomeness. Only God gets that one. I always strive to be a better person, and hope that I learn from mistakes I make, but I find that striving to be perfect and not having the ability to embrace my imperfections just draws more attention to them. It gets me down, makes me feel too much pressure to make my imperfections into perfections. And that’s not me. To be honest, though it sounds appealing, I don’t want my life to be all about what I’m good at, how my house looks, or how tight my abs are. I don’t want people to want to BE me, I want them to want to be them. I want people to feel loved by me and accepted by me. I want my kids to love God and know that they are loved. I want to be a blessing to people, not a blessing to myself. I want to be the best me I can be, but I want to love all of me, even the parts that others might judge.

This is my blog…. and let’s hope I don’t try to make it perfect.

(side note: Does the fact that I waited to start until this blog was as cute as I could possibly make it with 3 sickos all over me mean I’m already failing at my not perfect blog? FAIL! But hey, a fail is an imperfection. SCORE!) …. gosh I’m weird ;)

(side note #2: I ramble. sorry, it’s true).

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  • Hubs

    Just had to be the first to comment. I love your imperfect blog :) and you. Have to say my favorite line was “I don’t want people to want to BE me, I want them to want to be them”. I think you’re pretty great. That is all for now :) .

  • http://myriahgrubbs.com Myriah Grubbs

    I love it and you. I expect a new one every day so I can read and enjoy it :)

  • http://atagatecalledbeautiful.com charis

    i like your blog. let’s hope you keep writing on it. :) that would be awesome.

  • Jacque

    I absolutely LOVE this, so proud:) … you are good!! at being you, and being real. Proud to have you as my daughter …. proud that you and Charis and Nathan are sooooooo amazing, and that you all LOVE GOD!! I could not be any happier!!
    Really, keep writing, you have gifts girl:)

  • Cherylyn

    Seriously, I love all the things about you. I’m thrilled you are doing this and can’t wait to keep reading.

  • leah valenzuela

    i love your rambles! :) and even if your not perfect no one is and your amazing. besides people love seeing one reveal them self’s as they truly are!

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