Little known fact:

by Nichole on July 7, 2011 · 4 comments


Saltines were not just made for a victim of the stomach flu… oh no… they were also made for the mom who has to hold back the hair and clean out the throw up bowl over and over and over again, resulting in a not-so-pleasant-stomachy-feeling.

Dear Saltines,
I love you for times like these. But only for times like these… Otherwise you are kind of plain and boring. And one time as I was eating one of you, a worm thing crawled out one of your cracker holes staring me in the eye… and we had just recently purchased you & your family… true story,… one I took years to overcome.


Speaking of crackers. I made some the other day and they were quite good. I shall make them again sometime…. perhaps tonight, dare I turn the oven on in this wretched heat.


(I found the original recipe here, but I made a couple changes because I am a rebel… well a food rebel… not a real rebel,  in case you were wondering.).

• 1 1/4 cups whole wheat flour
• 1 1/2 tablespoons of sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon of salt, plus extra for topping
• 1/4 teaspoon paprika (I didn’t have any so I didn’t use it – still tasted great – I’m thinkin just pepper would be fantastic as well.)
• 4 tablespoons of butter – the site says unsalted but I will use salted whenever I decide to make it with butter (I used coconut oil, I’m sure butter would be better but the coconut oil was good too ).
• 1/4 cup of water though to be honest I probably used a half cup, I’ll show you in pics
• 1/4 teaspoon of vanilla

1. Measure flour & salt into bowl & mix.

2. Put sugar, oil (or melted butter), and vanilla in & mix.

3. Add in 1/4 cup of water.

4. Mix & notice that the dough is still quite crumbly.

5. Gradually add more water until the dough consistency looks more like this:

6. If you are REALLY lazy like myself, you can use a tortilla press instead of rolling out the dough… well…. lazy & only own a $1 rolling pin that does all a $1 rolling pin should be capable of…. (shhhh don’t tell my grandma, I really should invest in a better rolling pin, I know, I know!!!). Anyway the tortilla press works perfectly and is super fast. I tape cling wrap to mine so that the metal-y stuff doesn’t come off on my dough. Put a small ball in the middle (next time mine will be a bit smaller because I prefer the crackers to be as thin as can be).

7. Press until dough is coming out the sides.

8. Put dough on wax paper and cut into squares not caring that the edges will not be squares but weird shapes.

9. Place on cookie sheet sprayed with oil and then salt crackers before putting them in oven.

10. And wala…. or is it ‘whala’… ‘wah lah’????? After 10-12 minutes in the oven set at 400 degrees you should have yourself some lovely wheat thin esque crackers :) .

Dough took me about 5 minutes to prep and cooking time was about 25-30 minutes total. I put some in the oven before I was done pressing all of the dough so that saved time too. Total time investment = approx 30-35 minutes.


UPDATE (9.8.11) Now that I’ve made these a few times I’ve mastered a couple easier ways to do them. I put the round circles (that you roll or press w/tortilla press) on the cookie sheet and just score them rather than cutting each cracker and putting it on separately. It saves time and also fits many more crackers on a cookie sheet. I break them all apart after baking. I also much prefer using butter, though I like the coconut oil too. I added pepper and it was fantastic. If you triple the batch it makes what looks to be a costco box worth of wheat thins & that took me about 1.5 hours total (including baking time) but probably no more than a half hour total in the kitchen.

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  • Myriah Grubbs

    I should try these. And it’s “voila”!!!! For real.

  • charis

    we tried it and it is actually good.  oh, and i never got over the saltine thing.  i hate them.

    my recent post: when life takes us by surprise

  • Cherylyn

    They are very good! My kids are devouring the batch I just made. :)

  • Nichole

    Ha! It totally is, I knew something was amuck!

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