Wanderings from a wandering mom

by Nichole on August 30, 2011 · 8 comments

in FROM THE HEART

To tell you the truth…

I’ve thought of my lovely blog visitors while I’ve taken my “temporary hiatus”. I’ve just been in too much of a funk to write…. err… finish what I’ve written because many a post has been started both in my head and on my laptop ;) . Blame it on the stomach flu constantly making an appearance in my house, a disaster left from said flu, and camping/camping disaster, preparing for the first week of school, or people in general getting under my skin – whatever the case — I’m back…. I hope… hehe.

I’m back and I have something to say gosh darn it! Just kidding… well kind of ;) .

I was reading an article on our online newspaper the other day and it got me thinking: ever notice how hard moms are on other moms? I mean if you weren’t used to being judged just by being a girl (and girls judge girls, if you know what I’m sayin’… and all you girls KNOW what I’m saying’)… well the second you pee on that wonderful stick (seriously) that tells you your entire world is about to change (in a good way) prepare yourself for some judgement being sent your way, ’cause girls – it’s gonna happen.

Oh yeah, you moms know what I’m talking about and are shaking your heads in agreement. It’s craze-to-the-E how much judgement we moms get. I’m all for not letting things bother me, letting them slip off my back like butta (a.k.a buttER), but I would be lying if I didn’t say it irks me from time to time to hear others ideals of how apparently every woman should live her life. In all honesty, moms might be the biggest culprits of throwing around their ideals at other moms, discrediting all the decisions that they make with such thought and consideration.

• “You had your baby at HOME???? Is that even sanitary or safe? I’ve got 1 word for you D-I-R-T-Y.”

• “What?!?!?! You got an epidural? Well honey you can’t even say you know what labor feels like, only us NON drugged moms know the TRUE feeling of labor. We are the ones who know the true ‘tolerance’ of pain. You sad wimpy girl you.”

• “You had a c-section. Isn’t that just another word for ‘I-didn’t-have-time-to-educate-myself-on-how-to-have-a-baby’?”

• “Your baby was so tiny, she must have FALLEN out. Don’t come complaining to me about ‘pushing’.”

• “Your baby was so big I bet all you ate was fried food and sugar during your pregnancy.”

• “Oh I only gained 18lbs being pregnant because I, unlike moms who gain a lot, actually cared what I was putting into my body.”

• “You only gained 20 pounds being pregnant? Well don’t complain to me then about being ‘uncomfortable’ you skinny thing you.”

• “I ONLY breastfeed, my baby doesn’t drink poison.”

• “You BREASTFEED?!? Ewwww, isn’t that a bit *ahem* sexual ?”

• “Excuse me I know your baby is hungry, but the fact that I can see a splinter of skin on your boob really offends me. Can you please take your baby and feed him/her in that smelly bathroom over there? You know the one with all the germs, probably ensuring a trip to the doctor or ER for you sometime this week?”

• “You give your baby bottles? Girl you must have no connection with your baby what-so-EVER!”

• “I know you have a full grocery cart,… and probably no food at home,… but could you please just abandon your cart for the sake of all the other customers here who cannot STAND listening to your screaming child and head on home. I don’t care if this is completely out of the ordinary for him/her, it annoys me. I don’t hear the *music* you must be hearing.”

• “You circumcise your son?!?! Child abuse!!! You must be someone who does absolutely no research on something detrimental to your child’s life!”

• “You didn’t circumcise?!! Talk about unsanitary! Girl you are ASKING for problems later in life.”

• “What!?!?! You don’t vaccinate? Thanks for being the number one cause for every single sickness my child will get.”

• “You vaccinate?!?! Would you also feed your baby poison???”

Goodness, these are amongst the few judgements that I hear of on a regular basis. Not necessarily against me, what can I say I am surrounded by amazing people who love me and support my parenting *wink, wink*.

Am I saying that we shouldn’t have conviction about the choices we make for our children? Absolutely not. I am pro- conviction, pro-passion, pro- truly believing in the decisions we make in our lives, and not just being wishy washy or what some call “accepting” of everyone’s opinions and beliefs.

side note: Let’s just say it – there is a difference between accepting a person and accepting a behavior. Blog for another time…

What happened to supporting each other on this journey of parenting? Sure, I may not agree with the way some choose to do something, but I have not walked in their shoes & though I might do things differently, my judgments will make no impact. My love will.

Motherhood…. well…. PARENThood is the toughest job we will ever have. Let’s try sharing why we do things the way we do rather than flippantly passing judgements on the choices others make. Let’s glean from each other, and not judge each other. I love hearing why a mom does things the way she does & why she makes the choices she makes. Even if I don’t agree with every thing she does, I almost always learn something.

I love you all. I hope that anything I post on parenting releases courage to you. Being a parent is the toughest job in the world but you will never find one that is more rewarding. We are all in this together, raising up a generation of world changers.

Sincerely,

Pro-breastfeeding
Pro-co-sleeping
Wanted a natural labor but ended up with pitocin & an epidural
Non-vaccinating
Girl who gains 45-50 pounds pregnant
Girl who’s smallest baby was 8 lbs 13 oz
Pro-baby-wearing
Anti-crying-it-out

MOM

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Myriah-Grubbs/100000414737414 Myriah Grubbs

    All I can say is :)

  • Nichole

    haha, what does that even mean? Oh my silly post, lol.

  • http://www.charisscofield.com charis

    this is true. i can think of so many other things not on this list.  we are hard on each other!

    my recent post: quick update

  • Brooke Bartimioli

    bravo!

  • Cpete220

    Such a good post and oh so true! You are an awesome Nichole.

  • http://www.blognotperfect.com Nichole

    Seriously, it’d be fun to see how long of a list we could make. Well fun… & sad…. :)

  • http://www.blognotperfect.com Nichole

    Thanks! :)

  • http://www.blognotperfect.com Nichole

    I am a pretty awesome Nichole aren’t I? I’ve been practicing my whole entire life :) . hehe.

    Thanks!

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